Anyway, he was doing potato scones then using the same pan for the eggs, and he was like, the pan’s already well hot enough, just take it off the heat and make your eggs in it that way. And goddammit, it WORKS. I’ve always just turned the heat way down, but never thought to take the pan off altogether. So the next morning, I heated up my pan, took it off the heat, melted the butter, and proceeded to make the most perfect scrambled eggs I’ve ever made. And I’ve repeated the process 2 more times since then with the same results. Not too dry, not too mushy, perfectly cooked all the way through. Try it. It seems to be foolproof.

So that was my egg success. The failure was simply a lesson in ‘always have more eggs than you need for a recipe involving separating them’. Luckily, I did, because earlier in the day,  I made the decision to buy extra eggs since that would mean more scrambled egg breakfasts if I didn’t need them for my cookies.

So I was having to separate a bunch of eggs for making cinnamon star cookies. And as usual when trying to separate eggs, I was trying to get clean, straight cracks by doing it on the counter. And on what was supposed to be the last one, I cracked it with normal force and the whole thing just opened up all over the counter.

In all my years of cracking eggs, this has NEVER happened. And I have been cracking eggs for at least 15 years. It was just straight up full egg on the counter. How on earth do you go about cleaning that up in a logical way? You can’t pick it up, and you can’t really sweep it off the edge of the counter without egg dripping in all sorts of weird places. Luckily I was sort of next to the sink, so I tried to squeegie it in there with my hand as best I could.

But seriously, how are you meant to pick up a full raw egg off a flat surface? Anyone? Jamie?

This has been a huge problem. I already felt like crap to begin with, but eating stuff that was either crap itself or else just not good enough to be happy about eating has been making me feel worse. Food is a big deal for me, obviously, and when it starts repulsing me instead of exciting me, there’s something seriously wrong. And the whole situation is self-perpetuating, because when I get depressed about what I’m eating, my success rate with experimental throw-shit-together cooking goes way down, and I lose all of my creative culinary mojo.

I know that the answer to this is good food. So I’ve decided over the past few days that December is get-your-ass-cooking-again month, because I need some enticing leftovers in my freezer so I won’t buy another sad excuse for a meal from Tesco or something on the way home. Aside from being less than appealing, it’s also expensive, and December is not the month to haemmorhage even more money than one normally does at the holidays.

I have allowed myself to plan all of the comfort food I like, because I’m going for health, but I’m also going for gaining some weight back. This doesn’t mean all meat and fat and potatoes, it just means cheese and pork fat are encouraged alongside the pile of proper vegetables I have been so desperately craving.

Tonight, I had big plans for a pot of risotto-type barley with the cavolo nero I bought at the veg shop last week on impulse. I had no particular plan for it at the time, but it was just so green and healthy-tasty looking that my nutrient-starved self had to buy it. Then my boss let me out early today after the hectic craziness of this week, because she is the most awesome boss on the planet, and I decided to swing by Crombie’s on the way home for some sausages to add to my dinner. (And I needed beef anyway, because tomorrow I’m making stew. YAY.) And then I bought wine. Because I needed it.

Happy leftovers. Look at how GREEN that cabbage is. I imagine it contains double its mass in vitamins and good stuff. (Excuse the shitty iPod-taken picture. I don't have the energy for proper photography.)

After a tea and a spot of trashy, pointless 4od watching, I fired up the experimental cooking engine and came out with a big bowl of barley, cavolo nero, and Italian Piccante sausage meatballs in the time it takes to listen to Paul Simon’s Graceland. And it was GOOD. I was so craving the cabbage actually, that I ended up pushing aside a bunch of the meat to leave for leftovers and eating mostly barley and greens. I probably could have just eaten a whole bowl of the cavolo nero and left it at that, but the goal here is full meals. This is the first proper meal I’ve had in so long, and I have two whole pots of leftovers. I’m still disgustingly exhausted from this week, but at least I don’t feel as gross as I did after two nights of oven pizza. Uck.

Next up: movie, popcorn, and maybe even a mince pie, because now that it’s December, that’s allowed.

All the things I really want this year are not things that can be bought or sent, or in some cases even explained very well. And this has made the tangible stuff seem kind of pointless.

It’s not that there’s nothing material I want or need. I’m not that far from normality. I mean, most notably, I need a new computer, but that’s something I need to give myself because it’s expensive. And I need to do it soon, because if I let my computer crap out before I’m able to replace it, it will truly be the mouldy cherry on top of the shit cake that has been this year. It makes me nervous to say this, but not much else can go wrong at this point. I’m sure someday I’ll look back at all of this and laugh at the seemingly endless string of tragicomic events that have stacked themselves up, but it’s hard to laugh when you’re still sitting in the middle of it.

But anyway, there’s other stuff. Like a new wallet, better pillows, a dinosaur comics tshirt, and the new Coldplay CD. But none of it will make me happy. I’ll enjoy it all, but stuff and things aren’t what I need. Right now I’m concentrating on making stuff for my family, because that makes me feel useful and happy. I rarely ask people what they want, because I’d rather try to figure something out that they’d love so they know I’m thinking about it rather than just plonking money down on something they told me about. That’s not to say that kind of gift giving is without thought, it just doesn’t make ME feel as good about it, so I suppose that’s a little selfish. Oh well.

So I’m going to send my parents the list they’ve asked for. And I’m going to enjoy whatever they get me, because I enjoy any kind of gift from anyone. And I know they just want me to have a nice Christmas despite everything. It’s just really nice to be thought of or remembered in any way, and I’ve realised this the older I’ve gotten. It’s kind of the same reason I’ll eat anything someone bakes or cooks themselves, even if they go on about how horribly it came out. It’s the effort and the love that counts as much as the taste.

I guess what I really want for Christmas is for next year to be better. I don’t know what that looks like yet, but if I find out, I’ll let you know.

Tibor the tiger keeping an eye on the keeper with the bucket of meat.

Anyway, I watched the cats for a while. And I got to see the binturongs, which are crazy, strange creatures with awesome big fat tails. They’re usually well-hidden, but last night one of them was just kind of sitting in full view. I went over to see the tapirs, but they were all asleep in a pile inside as usual. So then I stood and watched the rhinos eat their dinner for about 20 minutes.

Usually in zoos, you can tell which animals are pretty content. I guess it’s the nature of being in a zoo, but a lot of animals just aren’t in love with being in an enclosure, regardless of how good it is or how big it is. They pace around in the same patterns and are probably just generally a bit bored. Even if they’re happily bored (like the sea lions sometimes appear to be). But the rhinos at Edinburgh Zoo always look like they’re enjoying the hell out of themselves. There are two of them, and I think they’re brothers. The enclosure isn’t particularly enormous, but every time I go, they’re just happily going about their rhino business. One time, they were charging back and forth through an enormous puddle of thick mud, splashing everyone watching with big blobs of the stuff, and clearly having the time of their lives. Last night, they were thoroughly enjoying munching on some enormous tree branches. And it wasn’t crowded at all, so I just got to stand there on my own with the rhinos for ages. I guess that wouldn’t be too exciting for some people, but I like watching happy animals do normal stuff. Their life is easy. It calms me down. Plus, they were making some awesome smacking noises with their ears as they tried to keep the flies off. You can kind of hear it in this video I took.

I went to have a look at the penguins next so I could see all the just-hatched gentoos. You can watch them on the penguin cam. The penguins were all squawking at and chasing a crow who was trying to poke around for food. That was kind of funny. When I had enough of that, I went to try to see the skunks, which are never out, and they weren’t out last night either. I spotted the porcupines waaaaaay up in the top of a tree though. And then I went home wishing something like a tree branch would make me as happy as the rhinos.

Look at me! I'm brand new and fluffy!

]]> http://chocolatecakeandbeer.com/2011/06/25/happy-animals/feed/ 0 Kate Tibor Baby gentoo http://chocolatecakeandbeer.com/2011/05/30/when-life-properly-sucks-a-good-brownie-is-always-welcome/ http://chocolatecakeandbeer.com/2011/05/30/when-life-properly-sucks-a-good-brownie-is-always-welcome/#comments Mon, 30 May 2011 14:34:00 +0000 Kate http://www.chocolatecakeandbeer.com/?p=404 ]]> I think it’s safe to say that this year, so far, has been crap.

That might even be an understatement.

Of course that’s not to say there’s been nothing good. I had an amazing birthday surprise. And I also went on vacation with my friend Sara, as I mentioned in my last post before I disappeared from the interweb for two months. I even put the pictures on Flickr. (You can look at them here.) It WAS actually quite a good holiday, it just got swept under a rug by the utter shit that followed.

Obviously, even in bad times, good stuff happens here and there, even if you can’t enjoy it as much. But it seems this year the universe decided I’d been happy and lucky for quite long enough and just started chucking stuff at me left and right. And it continues to do so. So the reason I disappeared from the internet was because I had to start cleaning up the mess.

I always believe that life is more important than the internet and whatever’s going on there, so I have no personal problem with disappearing. It’s just that everyone else is so used to seeing facebook statuses and the like that when one drops off the face of the digital planet, it seems one is expected to eventually explain it. Well, people, I’m back. And I’m not happy, but this mess isn’t one that’s going to be cleaned up quickly, so I may as well tell you about these brownies in the meantime.

I’m not a big coffee drinker, but I like a latte once in a while. And Saturday, I felt I needed a treat, because for the first time in a while I felt as though I could stomach one. So I went in search of coffee and cake. I decided to go to Wellington Coffee on George Street, because I knew their coffee was good, so I hoped their baked goods would follow.

They had a good looking carrot cake on the counter, but I took a chance and went with a brownie. Brownies are risky things to eat anywhere other than from your (or some other kind soul’s) own oven. Brownies you buy are so rarely any good, and yet you still buy them occasionally, because you can’t be bothered to make your own all the time, and you just want a brownie. And they’re always cut so big, which makes me feel like they’re trying to make up for the fact that the thing isn’t going to be all that great.

Despite all this, I paid my £1.95 for a rather large brownie and my £2 for a latte I at least knew would be good. Then I went to sit at one of the outside tables because the tiny interior was packed. (I managed to sit outside during the only 15 minutes of the day that it wasn’t raining sideways, so I guess I should count that at a victory. These days, I’ll take what I can get.) The coffee was nice as usual, and the brownie, well, I was pleasantly surprised.

People, if you’re in Edinburgh, and you feel the need for a brownie that you don’t need to make yourself, go get one at Wellington Coffee. I think it was the closest I’ve ever had to the kind of good only homemade can be. And it’s big enough that you could share it and still be satisfied. But I didn’t even resent the fact I paid nearly £2 for it. It was worth it. There wasn’t any extra crap like chocolate chunks or nuts in it. I was just nice and fudgy. (But not like raw fudgy, which I don’t think is that great when it comes to brownies. I have to believe it’s seen an oven.) The only thing I’d change about it would be to use a darker chocolate or cocoa to make it, but that’s fairly minor. I now know where I can buy a brownie I can love. And that may be another victory, however small.

I’m printing this building from a picture I took while visiting San Francisco the summer after 10th grade. In other words, a LONG ASS TIME ago. I did a painting of it when I was a senior, but it’s still one of my favourite pictures I’ve ever taken, so I figured I’d use it for some art again.

Also, a lot of people I know ask me about how the whole screenprinting thing works, so maybe some of these shots will intrigue you enough to take a course and get addicted.

Under the screen.

Prepping for registration (that's what the piece of plastic is for on the left).

Top of the screen. This is the third layer on this print. The last two are to the right.

Progress!

Unfortunately, the last two layers of this one will have to wait a few weeks. I’m off to Berlin, Prague, and Budapest with my awesome friend Sara at the end of this week. Woohoo, mini Eurotrip! I may or may not post some stuff from the gadget on the go if I can figure it out (or be bothered).

This is kind of a big deal for me, because much as I love Apple, I have resisted the mighty touchscreen gadget for a good long time. For a multitude of reasons, I don’t want now, nor have I ever wanted, an iPhone. I’m not a phone person for one thing. I barely make calls, and I only send enough texts to spend about £10 every 2 months. And they’re WAY too expensive to be carrying around all carefree. I’m sorry, but if I paid £400 for an iPhone and something – loss, theft, damage, whatever – happened to it, I would be horrified. I just can’t afford to take that kind of financial hit when I’ve got  at least 15 more years of student loan payments looming over me. So the best way to avoid that is just not getting one.

So, no iPhone. But I’ve also shunned the iPod touch for the same major reason I’ve discounted the iPhone as an option: I do not wish to be tied to the interwebs by a device. Everyone I know with an iPhone, Scott included, spends SO much more time than they would usually spend fiddling with the internet and social media. And I feel like I get enough of that between my computer and my job, so I really wanted to avoid that kind of overuse, and in some cases overdependence, on technology just because it’s there.

However, despite all of that, the time had come for me to replace my 5 year old 30GB iPod. (It still works, but the battery is shot, so it’s basically going to live out the rest of its life as a plugged in, very small box for the large portion of my CD collection which resides in my parents’ house across the ocean.) The 2GB of space on my dinky, but well-loved, Nokia just wasn’t cutting it, and it was fiddly to manage anyway.

I deliberated for longer than is probably healthy on whether I should go for the nano or the touch. And if the nano had still been the style it was before they made it a little square touchscreen, I might have ended up with that. But I did realise that the touch could be a pretty useful tool, especially for things like travel. And lately, I’ve come to realise that I’m probably going to be in the line of work I’m in for a good long time (which isn’t a bad thing, by the way), and keeping up on the current technology is a good idea for my personal education in the field. So in the end, I decided the iPod touch was the best choice, both as a device and in terms of value for money.

Now that I have it, I DO like it. I’ve set myself some personal rules, like no facebook unless I’m travelling (and even then, I’d rather avoid it, because it gets more evil by the hour). And avoiding using the interweb in bed. But also positive rules like getting into podcasts again. And even Twitter. Not to tweet myself, but to keep up with news and cool things like science that I don’t normally seek out unless I’m thinking about it. I freaking LOVE science. Especially space. And I haven’t really given myself the time to explore that as much as I’d like to. Now I have free apps for NASA and Space Weather, and the amazing StarWalk app so I know what I’m looking at in the night sky no matter where I am.

Today I listened to Neil deGrasse Tyson’s StarTalk podcast on the way to and from work, and it was absolutely awesome AND hilarious. I mean, did you know what lobsters and Spock have in common? Because I do now. But I found out the show just by following him on Twitter the other day. I also followed Jon Snow (for you Americans, he’s Channel 4′s badass news anchor) who is now in Japan tweeting the aftermath as he sees it, and actually providing some decent insight rather than just gaping at it all. Things like that are actually getting me really excited about being more informed and learning about stuff I’m interested in during my 45 minute walks every morning and afternoon. So if I can use this gadget to facilitate that, it was definitely worth the money.

And, most importantly, now I can play Angry Birds.

Canada!

The set isn’t massive, but it includes proof that I saw a grizzly bear in the wild.

There's bears in them there hills.

I’ve also posted a few pictures I took from the rugby the weekend. Alas, Scotland lost, but it was a good game, and good fun in general.

Six Nations, Scotland v Ireland, 27 February 2011

At this point, I really wanted to be able to post some brilliant pictures of Christchurch from when we were there, because it was such a nice city, but I didn’t really take many, so I don’t have anything stellar to post. There’s a few in my flickr, but nothing to do the place justice. I was really sad to hear about the earthquake, so my next lot of donations from Etsy sales will definitely be going to the New Zealand Red Cross.

Everybody loves muffins!

Because of Etsy, it’s sometimes easy to forget that I print for fun, not to quit my day job. So when I have verysmall business in mind, I tend to get attached to this idea that if I’m not super-efficient and always producing things that are good enough to sell, I’m failing. But this is so clearly NOT true. I’m no master at screenprinting. I took one course and pretty much stumbled through figuring out a lot of other things for myself. I like discovering new techniques and stuff, and the best way to do that is to screw things up. Which I do. A lot.

One of the biggest mysteries of screenprinting to me is getting the colours to come out the way I picture them in my head. And there’s no way to really know how they’ll come out. You can test ink by smearing it on some scrap paper, but it’s impossible to see how it will layer or how transparent it will be unless you just print. So I like to try combinations I’m not sure will work. Sometimes they fail spectacularly, sometimes they’re great. And sometimes the ink bleeds for no good reason and ruins the other three layers you’ve already done. Frustrating, but inevitable.

All this screenprinting stuff costs quite a lot of money, so I tend to scold myself for not being economically efficient with it when I screw things up and have to do them over again, but I’ve kind of realised I have to let that go a little. The more anxious I get about getting my exposure time wrong or bursting my screen, the less fun I have. If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen, so I might as well forget about it and just sort out the problems when they come.

So on Saturday I put the new Radiohead on my headphones (followed by some Queen. Woo!) and I got on with finishing my dinosaurs. With no proessure on myself to do anything other than finish them as well as I possibly could. I’m not in love with how the colours came out (not enough contrast) or the way the eye looks (maybe a little too angry), so I probably won’t sell them, but I’m letting you look anyway, because dinosaurs are awesome! And it was probably one of the nicest mornings of printing I’ve had in a while.

I love eating out, but when it’s unplanned and more of a ‘eat the first semi decent thing you run into’ than a leisurely evening at a restaurant table, it really amplifies the rest of the crazy and wears you down. I appreciate more and more why people make freezable food to bring people going through things like births and deaths and other major things, because home made food is really the best thing for, well, everything. Especially when you’re used to it. So tonight I’m looking forward to making two big bowls of really simple veggie pasta, curling up on the couch with Scott, and letting everything start to settle.

In the meantime, I would like to state for the record that I’m immensely appreciative of my friends and family. Many of them live far away, and I don’t see a lot of them nearly as much as I’d like to, but I hope that they all know that I’m always thinking about them, and I really do my best to stay in touch. Hopefully I can continue to improve that.

And here are a few other things to be happy about, in case you might need them as well.

New Radiohead! A surprise, and definitely a pleasant one. I preordered the minute I heard.

A great interview with Mike Doughty. I’ve always loved him and his music. And I feel when I meet someone who also likes him, that they get it, and they’re definitely the type of person I could be friends with.

Strindberg and Helium. I’ve recently revived my love for this by showing it to some people at work. It still makes me laugh incredibly hard, and it brings back good memories of college.

The spforkn! They like to call it a spork, but I know better. I’m sure I’ve mentioned them before, but mine recently broke, and it was a few weeks before I could get a new one. Ingenious tools such as this always delight me.

Margaritas. Made properly with good liquor. Even if you drink far too many of them with friends and feel the pain for most of the next day, they are still delightful. And the friends you drink them with are even better.